As part of ADHD Awareness Month this October, we had the opportunity to sit down with a very inspirational community member, Mary-Kate Harington; who bravely shared her story in a recent The Times article about living with ADHD, overcoming addiction, and finding strength through it all. We hope that Mary-Kate's journey serves as a beacon of hope for those navigating similar struggles.

ADHD, short for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects about 3% of the population, according to NHS England. It is primarily characterised by three core symptoms: inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. However, many healthcare professionals also identify challenges with emotional regulation and executive functioning as significant aspects of the condition.

A sigh of relief

Mary-Kate’s ADHD diagnosis came about at the age of 22. She explains, “I just felt like something was wrong, but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. I had gone through different types of therapy—CBT, DBT, regular counselling—but nothing really addressed the root of my issues.”

This lingering feeling led her to finally seek a diagnosis, and it was a pivotal moment in her life. “When I was diagnosed, it was a relief. Suddenly, things started to make sense,” she shares. But as Mary-Kate would soon discover, managing ADHD while navigating life’s challenges would be much tougher.

Navigating ADHD in a busy world

Mary-Kate reflects on how ADHD has always impacted her daily life, but things became more evident when she started working in London. “I saw neurotypical adults doing things seamlessly, like remembering to bring their lunch to work or doing simple tasks like laundry,” she says. “I struggled with working memory, emotional regulation, and time blindness. I’d forget the simplest things, like taking my clothes out of the washing machine. Yet, when it came to complex tasks like problem-solving at work, I found those much easier.”

The hustle and bustle of London life, combined with her symptoms, often made things worse. “The distractions were everywhere. I’d even miss my stop on the tube if I got too absorbed in an audiobook,” Mary-Kate laughs, acknowledging how chaotic it could feel at times.

ADHD and addiction

As Mary-Kate opens up about her ADHD, she also bravely discusses her journey with addiction, recognising how intricately the two are linked for her. "My ADHD diagnosis came before I hit my lowest point with addiction, but I see them as connected,” she reflects. "After getting diagnosed, I thought I could handle my drinking by understanding my impulsivity and emotional dysregulation. But I couldn’t.”

The 25-year-old shared the harrowing reality of her addiction and the denial that fueled it. By age 22, she knew something was wrong, she couldn't understand why others weren’t blacking out like she was when drinking. "I would lose hours of my night," she recalled, waking up with no memory of how she got home. Humour became her defence mechanism, laughing off the dangers until the fun faded and her dependency deepened. Drinking in the mornings to stop the shakes, skipping work, and enduring days-long blackouts became routine. "It was such a dark, scary place," she said, describing moments where she'd wake up with paramedics or alone, not knowing how she got there. Eventually, Mary-Kate realised it was a matter of life or death. 

After bravely seeking help at a rehabilitation facility, Mary-Kate is now in active recovery and hoping to inspire others to get help by sharing her story.

The importance of community and connection

Community and connection have played a huge role in Mary-Kate’s recovery and growth. “When you’re struggling, it’s easy to feel isolated, but I’ve learned that connection is the antidote to that isolation,” she explains. “I recently took an ADHD course, and one of the top values that came up for me was connection. You need like-minded people who understand what you’re going through.”

Whether it’s friends, romantic partners, support groups, or others with ADHD, Mary-Kate emphasises the importance of surrounding yourself with people who empathise with your experiences. “It’s easier to tackle challenges when you know you’re not alone. Shame can only grow in the darkness between our two ears," she says.

Navigating ADHD and dating

When asked about ADHD and dating, Mary-Kate admits that it’s been an interesting experience. “I’m pretty open about it now, but I did feel some shame initially. I was self-conscious about things like being late, or how rejection sensitivity can make me react more intensely,” she shares.

Despite these challenges, Mary-Kate highlights the positive experiences. “I went on a date recently, and I was 15 minutes late. The guy didn’t even notice—it was a green flag for me! That kind of understanding and patience is so important.”

She’s also found that different generations have varying levels of awareness when it comes to neurodiversity. “I think Gen Z is more tuned into ADHD, while older generations might not fully grasp the challenges it presents.”

Lessons learned and strengths discovered

Through her journey, Mary-Kate has learned the power of self-compassion. “I’ve always been good at giving advice to others but not so much at taking my own advice. The biggest lesson has been learning to treat myself with the same kindness I show my friends.”

When asked if ADHD brings any positives to her life, Mary-Kate doesn’t hesitate. “Definitely! I think my creativity and ambition stem from my ADHD. Sometimes my impulsivity even works in my favour—it makes me brave enough to take risks I might not otherwise take.”

Looking ahead: Hopes for the future

As we conclude our conversation, Mary-Kate reflects on what she hopes to see in the future for the neurodivergent community. “I’d love to see more education around neurodiversity, starting with children’s books and media. It’s important that kids are exposed to neurodivergent characters so they can grow up with a better understanding.”

She also hopes for more flexibility in the workplace. “We’ve come a long way since COVID, with flexible work arrangements and core hours, but there’s still room for improvement. More legislation that supports neurodivergent people in the workplace would make a huge difference.”

As we celebrate ADHD Awareness Month, Mary-Kate’s story reminds us of the importance of understanding, empathy, and community. “Every day is a new chance to learn and grow. ADHD has its challenges, but it’s also made me who I am—creative, ambitious, and resilient.”

Mattr: Where real connections are made 

At Mattr, we’ve taken these values to heart, creating a dating app designed with neurodivergent individuals in mind. Whether you’re dealing with ADHD, Autism, or other neurodivergent traits, Mattr offers a space where authenticity is celebrated, not overlooked.

From features like the “Honesty Box,” where users can openly share their challenges, to limited daily connections that prevent overwhelm, Mattr is committed to fostering meaningful, supportive connections. We're here to help you navigate dating on your terms, without compromising your mental health. Join us and experience a platform that understands, supports, and celebrates neurodiversity.

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