Rules are there to be broken, especially in dating…

Last week I went to watch Barbie, a powerful movie which promoted a message of want and need for a more egalitarian society where women's voices are heard and respected.

A fantastic lead actor and director, the movie is a testament to the talents, and power of women.

It showed how exhausting it has been just to be heard and showed what life might be like if traditional gender roles were reversed. Food for thought for sure…

But the latest social media trend being led by Gen - Z women is not to carry on the fight but to conform to the world of the Kens and accept the days of the past as a route to a better, less stressful life.

And who can blame them? It is estimated that 42% of American young people have a mental health diagnosis, we are exposed to between 5,000 to 10,000 ads a day, and the internet means we never have the right to shut off.

Young people have grown up with this since day one, and maybe they are done with the fight.

For those that want to conform to the past, they can find all the information on ‘Rules Based Dating’ on TikTok. And it seems a lot of them are, in fact, the hashtag #whymenlovebeaches (to avoid censorship) has over 65m views.

And if this is what those young women want who are we to tell them… However, some of the information they are being given in pursuit of ‘happiness’ is to the detriment of them as people and places value on the wrong aspects of a partner.

A snapshot of ‘advice’ given is listed below;

• You should listen more than you speak, essentially your opinion isn't as valuable
• You should only hang out in expensive restaurants or bars to attract that 'level' of man
• Don’t even think about a coffee date

The world has never been more polarised than it is today, with many living in their own tribes and social media echo chambers. In fact, 70% of Democrat women said they would not date a Republican.

It feels that dating is becoming more and more political, not just in the people we date but the way we are going about the process. When did everything get so serious, judged worthy and political?

A few months ago I was asked by the Metro to comment on the fad of the 'Golden Retriever Boyfriend'. A trend where straight women were looking for dependable, docile, cuddly boyfriends - the polar opposite of the alpha male types these women are trying to attract. With all these trends out there, with such differing opinions, how do you find what works for you?

• Stop looking on social media for advice, it’s full of so many opinions, many of them done for views rather than actually what they believe in
• Figure out what your values are and go from there, what are your red and green flags both in other people but yourself, remember you won’t be everyone's cup of tea either
• Don’t be so quick to judge, if someone suggests a date you wouldn’t have chosen think why they did that, everyone knows there's a cost of living crisis right now, and going to Shard for the first time and meeting someone new, won’t be in most people's budgets
• Open yourself up to differences of opinion, they say opposites attract, they might not as well but allow yourself the chance to find out

I know it is hard to make sense of so much constant information and trends but remember rules are meant to be broken. You do you ❤️

‍